Salam.
Mynie has written something about dos and donts in the first few days when a friend or relative lost a loved one.
http://everydayicecubes.blogspot.com/2010/07/dos-donts.html
I want to add/ask something for discussions.
1. Why women in Terengganu (or is it in Manir only) cannot pray for jenazah?
2. What is the ‘hukum’ of women being in the ‘tanah perkuburan’? Can we drink there?
3. Is it common to give out ‘ang pow’ to people who come to perform ‘solat jenazah’?
I noticed that during the tahlil (held for 3 nights in a row), there are certain people whom we dont know, came and did not open their mouth, not even when alFatihah was recited. So, I told Arifah who was being very supportive to distribute each of them a Yassin. I felt that if they dont know how to read and recite, at least they will read the translation in Malay Rumi. And these are the kind of people, my grandmother was worried about not coming: ‘rama dok orang mari malan ning?’. After these experiences, I told my siblings, lets do our tahlil at home every time we can get together ie after solat jemaah Isya’. This is to answer a lot of question from people…. ” ada buat tahlil tak kat Bangi?” “nanti buat tahlil panggil ya?” and so on.
1. Memang awak tanya ke, and diorg kata ‘cannot’? Maybe they just ‘choose not to’?
2. I think women di tanah perkuburan masa pengebumian is makruh or not recommended kalau tak silap.
3. Saya sangat tak setuju. Saya tak perasan that day, akhirnya bagi ke tak bagi.
Saya pun perasan some people yang dtg masa tahlil tu memang mulut tak bergerak. Culture shock saya haha
Saya ada cerita tak kat awak yang sepupu kita ada tanya buat tak tahlil hari ke-7. Saya jawab, setakat ni belum ada plan nak buat public tahlil. (Note the word public).
Tapi (saya belum sebut lagi) ada permintaan dari 2 kawan baik Mok (you can guess who) nak buat tahlil kat rumah kita. Dia siap kata ‘tak payah ada makanan, kami nak baca sama-sama je’.
I also have friends who ask ada buat tahlil tak kat bangi. more ppl want to come and pay respect
hm..tak perlu buat ‘public’ lagi lah rasenye..belum ‘sembuh’ sepenuhnya..
kaklong/kngah:
I just found out from a tazkirah by Ustaz Dzulkifli Hamzah… mula2 Rasulullah larang. Tidak dibenarkan melawat kubur. Namun kemudian itu, Saidatina Aisya r.a) ada menziarahi tanah perkuburan sebaik sahaja pembukaan kota Mekah dan Rasulullah benarkan.
Berdasarkan tafsiran ulama’ utk pegangan pada hari ini, dibolehkan asalkan
1) Tidak melanggar syariat (tutuplah aurat, dan sebagainya)
2) Tidak meratap2 dan meraung2
3) Berdiri sahaja (jgn duduk di atas batu, bercangkung, etc.)
4) Berpakaian biasa (pakaian harian)
5) Jangan berhias2, (tabarruj)
Rasulullah pun berdiri sahaja jika menziarahi kubur.
Wallahu’alam.