Archive for the ‘Budi’ Category

Pertembungan Budaya


Mynie has written something about dos and donts in the first few days when a friend or relative lost a loved one.


I want to add/ask something for discussions.

1. Why women in Terengganu (or is it in Manir only) cannot pray for jenazah?

2. What is the ‘hukum’ of women being in the ‘tanah perkuburan’? Can we drink there?

3. Is it common to give out ‘ang pow’ to people who come to perform ‘solat jenazah’?

I noticed that during the tahlil (held for 3 nights in a row), there are certain people whom we dont know, came and did not open their mouth, not even when alFatihah was recited. So, I told Arifah who was being very supportive to distribute each of them a Yassin. I felt that if they dont know how to read and recite, at least they will read the translation in Malay Rumi. And these are the kind of people, my grandmother was worried about not coming: ‘rama dok orang mari malan ning?’. After these experiences, I told my siblings, lets do our tahlil at home every time we can get together ie after solat jemaah Isya’. This is to answer a lot of question from people…. ” ada buat tahlil tak kat Bangi?” “nanti buat tahlil panggil ya?” and so on.


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In a police car!

Last night we went to my parents at Kg Sg Merab Luar. We met to discuss our family day trip this weeked to Awana Kijal, Terengganu. We were on our way home, when the car broke down in front of the police station in section 14 (I think). We sat quietly in the car (the girls are being very good), the place is quite scary being ex-palm oil estate. Half an hour later, a police car dropped by and offered us a ride. Arifah is really excited to be in the police car. Something big is in the trunk, because when we make a turn it hit the wall. Arifah asked the police what is that. The police said it is the ‘plastik mayat’. It is always there in the boot he said, in case he has to use it. Arifah always watch Akademi Polis of TV9, so she could not stop talking and asking. We slept as soon as we got home. This morning, my husband and I went to where we left the car, started it, and then he ‘blow’ the ‘exzos’ really hard… (ie press the pedal) and now I am at work using the same car. I dont really know what is wrong with the car, but he did. He said it is alright now, “just the matter of exzos tersumbat, kita blow dia ok la…”

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Hi everybody. Quite a long pause from me this time, so I feel I need to update. Thank you Mas for calling this morning, I realize that I have been very quiet lately. The first most important thing is I should mention is that I am with child. So, the sickness, the tiredness, the business of a working and studying life does effect my health. First time in my life I got a lot of MCs. Secondly, I started my formal education as a paying student for semester 1 in UKM, hence labwork results should be presented in 5 weeks time. I have no idea how to do that since the lab is going to be renovated for two months starting next week! Third one, I have started teaching chemistry for pre university level since mid June, it is fun but very time constraining. Each class is only 1 hour and there are usually 7 application and mathematical questions to be discussed. And the student are not cooperative nor responsive except for some. In my opinion, this batch is really different from the previous ones. And they lack communication skills. I have a student came to me and use Kelantan dialect to ask question assuming that I understand her. I found it rude because I never speak to them in Malay, let alone Malay with certain accent. They dont know how to speak to people other than themselves. Shy is not the word, its ignorance. They ignore the society. They ignore other people. They refuse to think about how well they should blend themselves in public. I dont know. We were taught to be self centered, so dont mind the surroundings. If your neighbour is sick, dont bother. If your neighbour’s car broke down in the early morning, just ignore it and do your thing as usual. If you help them, you will be troubled. We just dont mix around, let alone going to the surau to perform all 5 prayer in jamaah. Jauh sekali!  We are more attached to the computer than to our mother! Ask ourselves all these questions…..

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A generalization on Malaysians.

This topic is very serious. I was on my way home from the laboratory in UKM, heading towards the library, PTSL (because I was supposed to meet Mas for her to return the MUET books she borrowed from me) when I saw a coloured girl walking down from the PPS road in front of the Dewan Gemilang. I stopped, and asked her where she wants to go. 

“Where are you going?”


“I want to go to the library, can I drop you somewhere?”

“Yes, at the Canselori”

Then she sat next to me in the car.

“Where are from?” 

“Sudan. Are you Malaysian?

“Yes. Of course I am. Why did you ask that? How do I look like to you?”

“It is weird. Malaysians never did this. Very weird”

Silent. How disgrace it is to have a foreigner took note of something like this.

“Well, I think I am different. I have been there, staying in a foreign country, walking very far everyday …. ”

“That explains it”

I need to change the subject, I dont want to condemn my race.

“I know a Sudanese, his name is Khalid. Do you him?


We arrived in front of Canselori building.

“I will drop you here”

“OK, thank you. God bless you”

Moral of the story:

1. People around you observe and judge. We are getting international, and if the foreigners can easily make this kind of generalization, we should think and act. It is true? How can we change this?

2. Why do other people think we are very self centred, and never care about others? Maybe because we never help others in need? So, think my fellow friends. What one thing that we do today, does not give benefit to us, but to others? Try making a list.

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What a day!

Let me tell you what happened to me last night. We went shopping at the hypermarket in BBN and it was after Maghrib when we were on the way home. At the UIA Campus traffic lights, my husband realized that the temperature of the car is very high. Then, we stopped at the petrol station nearby before entering Nilai Toll. My husband tried to fix the problem, opening the air tube connected to the radiator, putting water in place etc. Nobody stopped and asked us what went wrong, may be because we parked at a parking lot for tyre pumping.

Half an hour later, a gentlemen stopped and asked what happened but then left. Later, an Indian came, he introduced himself, and wow! He is a mechanic. He said our water pump broke, and because there is no more water, the pipe below the radiator leak and he can fix it straight away that instant, if we follow him to his workshop. My husband asked him what is the price of the water pump, he said he dont know. My husband asked when should we replaced the water pump, he said should be after 2 years. Responding back to the mechanic, my husband said “I am sorry I cant come with you because once you have touched the car, I cannot claim from the insurance, because probably this damage is cause by the accident we had last month which was fully insured. The man was upset, he fled with his Kancil immediately. Later, I asked my husband. “What make you so sure that the man was trying to cheat you?”. My husband said,” Firstly, the man doesnt know where the water pump is. This is understandable because not all mechanics know about the features of a BMW, but he doesnt even know that there are two tubes connected to the radiator. That man touched the opener to add water and didnt bother about the other opener next to it for air outlet. All this man wanted is to get the car to his workshop, and open something up and then said you can not go home with this car, the part will be bought tomorrow etc….. So now I understand. My husband said the price of a new BMW water pump is RM1000+ and it can last up to 5 years, and we have 2 more years to go before we should replace this one.

Later, the owner of the petrol station came, asked us what happened, he gave us a torch light and some water to drink. We are still alone and I am depending on my husband to decide what to do, for I am occupied attending to the girls. They understand what is happening because I said: “Arifah Aidah, mari kita main dekat sini sekejap sebab kereta Abi rosak, Abi kena baiki dulu, kita tunggu ya…..”. I am grateful that the weather is good (not raining) and the sky is clear (we sang twinkle twinkle little star so many times).  At times like this, I always remember the Italian movie called Life is Beautiful. The father manage to make his son imagine that the whole World War I is a game of hide and seek. The boy is happy all of the times, hiding for hours and hours, up until the moment when he won the so-called prize: riding the tank, without realizing that the father is about to be sentenced to death on the other side of the place. This is what I am trying to do. Be happy girls. Abi and Ummi will solve this problem.

By the way, it is already 10.15 pm. Then a man approached, he offered to hold the torch light while asking what was wrong to my husband. And one thing lead to another, he was going to escort us back to Bangi, no matter how long it takes. We took a lot of water in mineral bottles complimentary of the petrol station owner, and then we started the journey. After we got to the toll and “logged in”, we stopped for 45 minutes, and then under the fly-over junction to KLIA we stopped for 30 minutes… so I was thinking, God knows when are we going to reach home!

At Km 285, I saw the emergency phone and gave an idea for the PLUS tow truck to come and send us home, or at least to the nearest toll. Instead, two Polis Bantuan PLUS came and help us. He said the amount of water in the radiator in not enough and in order to fill in the water there are certain techniques…etc, he end up teaching my husband about the cooling system of the car. Half an hour later, we arrived home nearly midnight and the temperature of the car is under contol and normal the wholetime. We still have to send the car to the workshop, though.

Interesting enough, this man who escorted us happened to be a marine engineer, my husband’s junior in PUO, also a senior of my brother Zidni in SAS, whose fiancee is a friend of Zidni’s wife!!! He stayed the night at our house and when I left for work this morning he was eating the nasi lemak I cooked for us. 

Moral of the story:

1. Being streetsmart saves money, a lot of money, we might loose at least RM500 to the mechanic at that petrol station. So, start learning about surviving skills (Kemahiran Hidup), like gardening, fixing the bulb or painting the walls etc..  

2. And the world is small, anywhere you go, you will meet somebody who is connected to you somehow. So be good to everybody especially on the road. You dont want to hit a car and then realize that the driver is your ex-teacher or your ex-girlfriend’s mother etc…

3. Dont put the pressure on the children in whatever situation you are in. Be happy and every problem has the solution. Senyum sokmo!!!

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Lifelong learning

Yesterday, 2 May 2008, my students had their final exams in the afternoon. The night before, I got an SMS texting me on last minute tips for the paper. I did not reply. I guess, I would probably do the same thing if I were in their shoes. But, come on… do you expect me to give you any questions prior to the exam? I won’t do that. Learning is a long life experience. If you got an A, it does not mean that you are perfect or excellent in what you do. Some people excel in their studies and career, but failed to lead a happy and productive family. But, it is not entirely their own fault, it is what and how God wants it to be. Kun fa ya kun! Basically, I am not pressuring my students to score A, I just want them to learn sincerely, not just for the exam, but for a better life ahead. I can’t wait to read and mark their papers.

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I am sorry, dear stranger.

I was driving home from work (Nilai to BBBangi, via Kg Jenderam Hulu) yesterday, in a heavy non-stop rain with Aidah beside me, when I saw a Proton Saga car stopped in the middle of the road with hazard lights on (3 cars in front just gave right signal and drove by because the other lane was vacant). On the other hand, I had to stop. A man with an umbrella dashed out from the car, in a panicking way, raising his hand to me (or the other drivers on the road). If I did not stop, I would not be able to see his face, his eyes. He saw me. I was attending to Aidah, she needs comforting so I put my left hand on her chest. He saw me doing that and he just gave the signal for me to go. So I left. When I passed by his car, I could see  the drivers head was pressed to the window and the eyes were closed. Is he fainted? Of heart attack? I felt sad. I am sorry stranger, I can not help you. In this situation, I wish my hubby is around. To my surprised, the other cars also followed me. Why cant you stop? Cant you see somebody needs your help there? Are you all helpless women with a little child like me? I felt bad, really bad. If I stop, I can bring the poor guy to Putrajaya Hosp that instant, and call my mother to take my eldest Arifah from school. I am sorry, stranger. I really do. I prayed for him all the way home, all the time until  I closed my eyes last night. Both were Indian men (I think I need to mention this).

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